Starting Over Again?

Aura Imbarus

“Morning is
a new sheet of paper
for you to write on.

Whatever you want to say,
all day,
until night
folds it up
and files it away.

The bright words and the dark words
are gone
until dawn
and a new day
to write on.”
(Eve Merriam)

How many times were you more than 100% sure that you just nailed that problem that was bothering you for along period of time, and now, finally, was solved. Then, after a week or so, you discovered that you were not even close to solving it, and you went back to square one.

Well, that is called the Puzzle of Life! How many times can you start all over? As many times as needed would be one answer. Another answer would be that there is no beginning and no end, and everything is in a continuous flow. So, we don’t start over, but we transform ourselves with every new experience, with every new encounter, with every new given moment.

A goal is a dream with a deadline, and, for each and every dream, you need to be able to start from an imaginary ground zero. Of course it is hard, but it is not impossible. Small steps are needed; big goals are required in order to succeed. Each and every day brings with it the beauty of a new beginning, and the struggle of a new fight. Every day we are thrown by destiny back into the fighting arena, and at night, we need to draw a line and sum it up. Whatever we went through, it was there for a purpose. The people you met, the circumstances you were part of, the places you went to, all of them have been creating the map of your intentions and actions.

People have been down, and even lower than that, and, sometimes at their lowest point, and still, as long as they found the motivation to get back on the horse, the chance of becoming victorious started. Nothing was done over night. Rome was not built in twenty-four hours; Paramount Pictures didn’t just spring over night in the entertainment business, and Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, and Love didn’t become famous over night, and not even Abraham Lincoln became the president of the US based on a single run.

So, yes, it is hard to start all over, but if you just think of a moment that can build itself upon another moment, you will be closer to the finishing line, one day at a time.

People have the tendency to plan for the future by going down the memory lane, searching for the past, reenacting it and playing the same tape that didn’t work out in our favor in the first place. Very few of us really absorb the present, while taking in the paradise of today.  The only physical time we can live in is the Present, for the Future is not tangible and the Past is a matter of the heart.

So, why is our mind constantly wondering, searching, digging for answers and jumping on déjà-vu moments? Why can we just stand still and inhale the landscape’s fragrance, the one that just unfolds its beauty under our eyes the way a rose peels its petals? Why is it so hard to do nothing and seize the fresh second?

This unique moment is the one that will never come back. Similar experiences will remind us of it, but the truth is that it is gone while we speak. We are in a race against time the moment we are born, and each and every moment eludes from the hourglass in matter of blinks. There are swift and precious instants we don’t care for, but they are the ones pilling up to add another year to our life’s calendar.

Same places, same people, maybe same experiences, but for sure, different moments! The more I think about my life, the more Marcel Proust comes to mind, ‘searching for the lost time.’ With the help of a Madeleine’s smell, I recreate the scene of a crisp Transylvanian morning when my Mom was baking vanilla scones to complement my hot, steamy milk and cocoa.  The Sequoia tree and its imposing stature stand still for my recollection of another year spent in the same place with my family. How much I wish to have them back! How much I desire to be transported back in time, to a moment when all of us were together. But, even if the reality or what I perceive to be real has changed, nobody can take away the memories of many well-spent sparkles of time and their intensity.


Time is our enemy, and we don’t even face it. We hide our faces from it, we cover our traces, and we disguise our persona. We cannot control it, for we don’t live each and every second to its ultimate intensity. Split seconds grow wings and fly away.

So, yes, it is important to carpe diem, but more important is to seize the moment! And that moment is the first one from a fresh page that we all start to write on each and every early morning…

So, can we really start all over? Yes, now, while I am writing this article, I am starting a new journey, a new stage in my life that is unique, even if it seems similar to other stages and other experiences, it has the stamp of time and the seal of my soul for authenticity. It is a virgin land in my mind and a new freshly cut cloth in my soul. It is the new me of this moment in time, unmistakably new, genuine, bright, intense, courageous and ready for life. As the waives of the ocean follow each other in the never ending ocean so does each and every one of my own musical notes, creating the simple symphony of what I call: Life. I am, after all, the Conductor and the Master of Ceremony for all those mornings of my existence.